My Stor[i]

The beginning

Welcome, I would love to Share My Stor[i] with you. To give you a better understanding of my journey, I will start with my upbringing.

I grew up in Sweden. I am the firstborn daughter of first-generation immigrant parents, from Iraq #Assyrian. They had me when they were young. My father has been a very dominant influence in my life and the journey to heal my relation to him, has been a major part of my inner work, and transformation.

My father grew up with mental, emotional, and physical disharmony at home and in society. He became a husband, and a parent at an early age, after meeting my mother. He also had to navigate a major culture shock. Coming from a culture where men have all the power, to a culture where women have every right to express themselves, with no limitations, was an overwhelming change for him #Feminism. His internalized struggles would create distance between us at home. Disconnection was more present than connection. As the first born, I tasted most of his suffering. I experienced neglect, rejection, and punishment, as if I was not deserving of love. The silent treatment was the worst, and having to deal with not knowing when the next emotional outburst would happen. Even as a young child, I could see my fathers heart through his pain. I knew he didn't have the tools to express his feelings to feel seen or heard. I knew he was doing his best.Children don't do what their parents tell them to do, Children do what their parents do. We lived in a neighborhood called #Fittja in Stockholm, a place many immigrants filter through. This neighborhood has a high crime rate, but also a beautifully complex mix of nationalities, and people from all walks of life. It was home. A broken language was spoken among us, as Swedish was a secondary language to many in the neighborhood. Slang was at the forefront of our verbal language, as well as body language. I was expressing myself through either clowning around, silence, or fighting

My experience growing up in Fittja allowed me to understand that there is one language you understand, no matter your nationality. Body Language. I remember the day it clicked for me, whilst listening to my friends' parents speak to each other. Not knowing a word of what they were saying, somehow, I was still able to read their body language.

It was at that moment I realized we all cry, laugh, fear, and love the same, no matter where we are from.

My dream

At the age of 14 my parents divorced and I was finally free, free from living with my father everyday. My mother entered a new marriage about a year later. I was doing everything in my power, to keep my family at peace, and I did not manage to make it happen. I felt like I had lost it all. My father lived in one place, and my mother had found a new man, and was pregnant. Consequently, my sister and I did not have a good relationship, and my sense of home began to fade away.

As a teenager I was trying to find my way, as you do. The education system in Sweden has you choose your direction of education very early on. At 15 I chose to attend a school specializing in hairdressing, following in my mothers footsteps, as she had her own salon. I was still trying to find myself, and suddenly, music found me. I wanted to sing and dance. It lit me up like nothing else, and I finally felt a direction. However, I was now locked into a three-year education, for something I now knew I didn't want to do, and I started resisting it intensely. These years felt very dark, and depression crept in #DarkNightOfTheSoul.

I was questioning who I really was. If I was not my circumstances, then what was my true essence? I was questioning human existence. Why am I here? What's the meaning of life? This is where I noticed that most people preach more than they practice. I had to look within and recognize where I wasn't being real with myself.
Why do people say one thing and do another?I knew I had the power to create change, yet I was still feeling blocked. How could I expect others to walk the walk, when I myself had not yet done so? I was lacking guidance and support, and I kept running into discrimination as a first gen immigrant, as well as limitations of lack of money and opportunity. I juggled multiple jobs on the side, while studying, to make money for my dream. I even took a job at my mothers salon. I was lacking sleep and losing faith. Frustration grew in me, and I did what I was best at, I kept pushing and confronting my obstacles. And at 19, I hit my breaking point. I got into a car accident, I felt like the universe had slapped me, and sent me a sign. Stop, listen, breathe.
As children, we have not yet fully developed all of our senses. We don't have all the tools we need to protect ourselves, or a matured understanding of what's going on around us. This makes experiences more traumatic for us children. As we grow older, these events have a tendency to become our unconscious triggers.
My friend @Lilian gave me a palm-reading around the same time as my accident. This was the first time someone saw my pain. I had always been a class clown, masking what I was processing at home and within. Then I went to a spiritual medium and again, she saw me and the pain that I was hiding from the world. One thing that was shared with me, that really hit home, was that my childhood experiences were more than what a child's heart should bear. No matter how tough I appeared, for the first time, I felt seen and heard. Something was triggered within me, and I started sharing my stor[i] with the world around me. I would walk up and start conversations with homeless people, wealthy doctors, kids, and crooks.

Sometimes they would be sitting in my chair at the salon, other times I would approach them because I felt pulled to do so. Doing so was healing me, as I was releasing all that was trapped within me, and so were they #healing. What I learned during this time is that all we really need is to feel seen and heard.

Spiritual Journey

In 2005 at the age of 22 I got accepted into the "ISVP" program at #BroadwayDanceCenter in New York City, where I studied dance for a year. I had packed my bags and was ready to change my life. A life that had disconnected me from my heart, and made me a ticking time bomb, ready to attack anyone that dared to challenge me. No matter the opinions of others, about my choice of wanting to go for the American Dream, I did it anyway. It was my time to shine, and be free. No one could tell me any different, and fear could not stop me. Throughout my life, I had made a conscious choice to not let fear control me, as fear was what I grew up experiencing most in my household, and environment. "Fear the one who has nothing to lose", was a philosophy I lived by.

Taking dance classes and going to auditions, I noticed how my body would give up on me and just freeze. This would happen especially when dancing was upon request, and if people were watching me. I couldn't understand why, and what was going on with me. This is what I wanted to do? Thinking I had overcome all parts of fear, there was one part I had disconnected from and forgotten, it was Love. Going for My Dream, I came to understand that I had to open up my heart again, and trust. I had to let go of living in the #StreetSmart, Fight Mode mentality thinking everyone is there to get me.
I had no idea that I was up for a surprise. A surprise of stepping into a
journey of Self Discovery and Self Healing.
I had lived in New York City for 4 years before moving to Los Angeles, where I ended up living for 10 years. Today, I can say that dreams do come true. Going the extra mile moving from New York City to Los Angeles, I thought I would find Inner fulfillment once I reached my destination. That wasn't true for me.

No matter the glitz and glam, and fancy resume,  Inner fulfillment comes from within. Our stories hold the keys to our inner fulfillment. Our stories, and the stories we tell ourselves, can Make Us or Break Us.

Present moment

I had told myself that I will not teach before I myself have implemented the practice of what it takes to actually make my dream come true. How can I teach someone something I myself have not yet experienced? Decades of determination and action taking, I made my dream a reality. I experienced the process of being resilient in the face of obstacles, rejection, and moments of feeling defeated. My biggest lesson I took from my journey is the knowing of what it actually takes to stay the course no matter what is happening around me. 

Today, I am here to support and share tools with you who are willing to step into Your Power and live a Lifestyle that is created by you and not by your circumstances. Reminding you that "Choice" is a part of your existence. The power has always been, and is within you. Accepting and releasing the judgment of family, friends and society, trusting your inner voice from the heart, your #Intuition. I am here to guide you back to your inner knowing reclaiming Your Power Back.

Are you willing to explore and find new ways in how to move forward with your life? Are ready to take action and transform your life by sharing and exploring Your Stor[i]? If the answer is yes, then this work is for you. I will leave you with a quote i deeply resonate with from Miyamoto Musashi:“We must understand that there is more than one path to the top of the mountain” 
A GIF to show the first parts of the Share your stori.A GIF to show the first parts of the Share your stori.


Go to start

Taking the Road Less Traveled and Determined to Transform your Life?
This practice is for you!

Get free exploration call